The ‘stuff’ is specific exercises and ways of thinking that I have given them to explore and learn from.
When I started to make bold moves to understand my mind and to change how I think so that I didn’t recreate unpleasant experiences I also asked this question. I felt like I needed to do EVERYTHING I was already doing and then find MORE time to make positive changes.
My solution is simple.
There is NO NEED to magic up another three hours in a day. There is NO NEED to create an extra two hours or even an EXTRA 90 minutes. What you DO NEED to do is GIVE UP the time that you have diligently dedicated to thoughts and habits that keep you stuck. You could start by surrendering 10 minutes of daily grumbling about work or how tired you are and use it to do yoga or deep breathing or journalling instead. How would that feel? You’d instantly shift your state to a more positive one.
Here are some typical ways clients waste their time – are they true for you too?
- Watching mindless TV
- Hanging out on social media comparing yourself to other people’s happy highlights and believing they’re all true
- Feeling powerless, hopeless or stuck
- Calling friends or family who YOU KNOW aren’t bigger thinkers than them and wondering why you feel unsupported (this is a great thing to do if you want to justify your stuck position btw)
- Have no clear intention on how to use your time
- Finding excuses that STOP you doing whatever it is you KNOW you would benefit from doing
- Think of all the things you haven’t got yet and how upsetting that is
A second issue that’s popped up recently is: why do I have to spend my time doing this feel good stuff, and when do I get to just breeze through life effortlessly like other people I know? Answer: as soon as you commit to doing the inner work and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Also, trust that the easy breezy people you are seeing already think differently, or are directionless. That’s not you. Stop looking at them. Look at you. This is your journey, not theirs.
Why are some people in the south of France and not you? Because they committed to that journey, bought the ticket and got themselves there.
For now, work out where you are throwing your time away, and replace those vital moments with something that will lift you up and expand your mind. You’re not in detention. You’re the A-grade people of the world who are destined for greater happiness because you’ve made it your mission.
Trust that the personal growth work you are doing (which at times involves only observing thoughts and you’re there anyway) will bring you back to a place of authenticity – if you’re working with me then YOU ARE COMING HOME TO YOU. You were not born a worrier or lacking in confidence. I promise. There will be some parts of the journey that feel really messy and that’s perfect – look at a seed as it grows: tiny and tidy – roots and shoots burst out – firm foundation and growth upwards – beautiful flowers and roots.
If you’ve had enough of the life that you’re living that just isn’t you and are ready to find your confidence and self belief to make changes and create the life you want email me: firstname.lastname@example.org